I’m going to die alone.

So, I started talking to this girl a few days ago, who is my exact opposite in every way, which is cool, fine, not a deal breaker. The problem is that I have a hard time relating to people, especially when they have certain characteristics or, in this case, are just flat out racists, which I didn’t find out until today, but that’s another story.

This girl and I, we’ll call her Jackie, have been texting back and forth for about a week. There are a few minor red flags, nothing to worry too much about at first, until she started messaging me yesterday. Unprompted, Jackie sent me 10 separate text messages explaining that she’d gotten into a fight with her friend’s family because they said something mean to her and she threatened to beat them up, and nobody should poke the bear. There was a winky face in there somewhere too but honestly I stopped reading after 2 messages of what looked like a plot line from Jerry Springer.
Her last message of the bunch said, and I’m quoting here, “aren’t you glad I put that bitch in her place?”

I just stared at my phone, mildly disgusted. Uhh…no, I thought. What is even happening? In what world would I be happy that one, you’re calling this girl a bitch, two, you’re fighting with someone over something stupid in a really undignified way, and three, you threatened physical violence on her. Oh yes! Throw me over¬† your shoulder and take me to your cave, madam, I can’t wait! NOOOOOOO.

Instead of responding to these messages, I picked up my phone using the tips of my thumb and middle finger and tossed it on the seat next to me because frankly I was a little grossed out and afraid that my phone had somehow been contaminated by the whole situation. I never responded to her question.

Fast forward to the next day, yesterday, when she started texting me again. Instead of a greeting or a good morning text, she opened with a “so when are we going to hook up?” text. Classy, I know. And I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with stuff like this when I started dating women. *sigh*
I was annoyed by then, and still completely put off and turned off, by yesterday’s conversation, but I decided to answer anyways. I responded with something along the lines of “I don’t know, it would be something we would have to work towards.”

Jackie was not a fan. She decided it was a good idea to follow up with “it’s not like I need permission, it’s hotter when you just take what you want.”
Okay so, logically, I knew what she was trying to say, but that would require me to give her the benefit of the doubt, which I didn’t feel much like doing. So, I pressed the issue.

“Um, no. You need consent. In any and all situations.”

She sent an eye roll emoji and explained that obviously she wasn’t just going to go around grabbing people, and then somehow Donald Trump was brought into the conversation and his tendency to “grab” things without permission. Let me tell you, nothing kills a mood faster than bringing up Donald Trump. Not that there was a mood to kill in the first place because, please, that is not happening, but you get the point.

Needless to say, I have no intention of ever hanging out with this person, let alone hooking up with them. I’m sorry this post is so long but I felt the need to demonstrate the kind of people that apparently I’m attracting. Honestly, if this is all there is out there and I can’t just find a nice, feminist, butch woman that doesn’t want to fight people or send semi-rapey text messages, then I’m more than happy to die alone. Besides, by that time I’ll have a few dogs and a cat or two by my side and who’s to say it’s not way better to die surrounded by animals than by people who might suck?


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